We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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