You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
