That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
