You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
