At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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