hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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