sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
