You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
