just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I wear drunk well.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
