if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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