loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
