her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
