dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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