Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
