The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
