oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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