so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
