Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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