Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize