i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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