she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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