I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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