I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
