we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
