i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
We got so high we made milksteak
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize