They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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