Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
