I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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