some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
