Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
