New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
