Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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