Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
