We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
