i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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