Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
