i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
