I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
