We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
