i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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