I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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