I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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