Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
