OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
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