When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
