508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I take back everything I said about communal showers
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
