who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
