I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
