I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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