Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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