my sisters under your porch take her home
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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