do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
