Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
