oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
