I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
