We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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