all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
