OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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