People with herpes should wear stickers.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
