Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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