he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
