i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
