I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
two words: eviction party
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
