'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The best revenge is premature balding
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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