hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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