There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
My balls are so social today.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
