She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
