i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
